Our First Date With Mom
I knew Bob from Junior High School. He was a grade ahead of me and always used to tease me while walking through the halls. He used to say I was so beautiful and so cute. I thought I was hideous with glasses and braces. I usually yelled at him to leave me alone, or I'd tell him he was crazy. Just about thirteen years later in 2003, my aunt and I were returning home from work on the bus. After I got off the bus, a boy named Bob approached her and asked her all kinds of questions about me. He mentioned that he saw me at the local library all the time, but that I didn't look all that approachable. My aunt relayed the information to me. A month later, I went to the library. I never really knew what he looked like because my aunt had only said that he was cute and had braids. Well, there were about three people that were working at the library at that time with braids. They were all ugly, so I just dismissed it. About two months ago, I saw him and a friend at a bar I go to. His friend came and asked me if he could introduce me to someone. I said yes because the boy that he was to introduce me to looked extremely familiar. He turned out to be Bob. A month later, Bob asked me out to a baseball game on a Thursday night. He picked me up, and then he explained to me that he had a whole bunch of tickets that he had to drop off to various friends. After one stop, he informed someone on the cell phone that he had to go pick up his mother, and after that he'd be at the game. I felt so awkward and didn't mind telling him so. I remember saying, "Sheesh! If I had known your mother would be joining us, I wouldn't have dressed in this cargo mini skirt. Now I can't smoke or swear. I'm very uncomfortable now. He said, "Well, it's not like it's a date. It's just a baseball game." I must have been confused. I'm pretty sure when a guy expresses an interest in you, wherever or whatever he asks you to do is a date, isn't it? But I let it go. We went and picked his mother up and proceed to go to the game. We got there, and Bob asked us if we wanted some food. I said I'd have some fries and a water. His mother asked for a hot dog and a water. His mother gave him money. It took him the entire intro and first inning to get the food. During that time his mother informed me that she hates baseball, that it's boring, and that she'd rather be home watching the Democratic Convention. I asked her why she came if she didn't like the sport. She said because she thought it was so sweet that he invited her. Finally, at the top of the second, he came back with the food but no napkins. So, he left again. He came back a third time with one of those key chains that you hang around your neck for his mother. Not even five minutes later he left again for something. He brought me back the sane key chain. I sarcastically said, "Oh, no, you shouldn't have," and rolled my eyes. His mother then proceeded to point out that I didn't even say thank you. To which, a few minutes later, he said, "Oh yeah, you didn't say thank you." His mother got tired at the end of the second inning, so we had to take her home. I asked him to take me home as well. I couldn't get in my house quick enough to call family members and friends and tell them of this atrocity.
-- Celeste, 27