I was just out of college and, while online one day, I ran into a girl with whom I had gone to high school. I found out she had been divorced for about a year, had a 2-year-old son, and was now back at home, living with her parents. We flirted quite a bit and seemed to have some good chemistry going. I knew that she was dating a guy I worked with, but that didn't bother me because they were fighting and weren't talking anymore. Eventually, she informed me that she had broken it off with him, so we decided to go out on a date one night. From the moment I picked her up from her parents' house, it began turning into the most embarrassing date I've ever had. First, her well-endowed cousin answered the door with a towel on her head, having just gotten out of the shower. She was wearing a white T-shirt over a very revealing bra. Then I walked in and greeted my date, her mom, and the family dog. As I entered the room, the dog immediately walked up to me and started sniffing between my legs as everyone looked on. I asked whether the dog was a female or male, and my date replied, "Female." Right as she said that, the dog turned intently around, presenting its tail as if it were expecting me to screw it! Everyone laughed, and I asked my date if she was ready to go. We went out for dinner and a movie, but the conversation went nowhere because I could not get the eerie thought out of my mind that someone must have done the dog before! After the movie, I was preparing to drive her home when my date offered to head over to my place. "No, maybe some other time," I politely declined. To which she replied, "Why not? You're a stud; even my dog thought so"!
-- Kevin, 30