Do Women Want What He Wants?
Is it normal for a female 34-year-old to not have any urge for intimacy? -- Brad
When anyone starts questioning someone else's normality, Brad, it's often a sign that two different personalities and perspectives are clashing. Rather than trying to learn what's precisely normal and what's not, why not deal with this woman directly and see what's going on? Individuals of both sexes have varying desires for closeness, for emotional intimacy, for time and space apart from everyone, and, naturally, for sex. Some females in their 30s are very interested in sexuality while others aren't the type to feel turned on until they meet someone really special whom they love or might love. What's so-called "normal" isn't relevant here. If she's madly in love with you and still has no interest or urge to get intimate, she might be saving it for marriage, or if you're already married (you didn't say), she could be angry about something, or depressed, or her hormones may be out of whack, or something else could be going on. Or, and it does happen, she may not be the intimacy-seeking sort. Some people aren't. Forget "normal," and get to know this particular person better.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.