Married Lover is "Stuck"
I am seeing a married man whose wife is very disrespectful and trapped him by having a baby. He now feels stuck, and the wife doesn’t like him talking to anyone unless she has control of the situation with her money. I want to have a relationship with him, but I am not sure what to do. -- Yvonne, 49
Run? Yes, run! You've only heard one side of this story, the philandering husband's side. Let's assume the wife didn't steal his sperm and make a baby on her own. Once she got pregnant, it was up to the two of them to decide how to handle the situation like adults. Now that they're married, he has another chance to act like an adult and stop sneaking around behind her back. You may not be the first woman he has cheated with, nor will you be the last. Why don't you tell him to clear up the mess he's made of his marriage and get a divorce, and then come back to you. Sooner or later, she will find out, or he will get tired of you. Regardless, this is pretty much a dead-end relationship, and I suggest you end it sooner, on your terms, than have it end very badly down the line. Men ALWAYS like to claim their wives are the bad ones when they seek other women to mess around with. You'll be sorry if you trust him at this point.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.