Sex With "Grandpa"???
When my wife was still alive a year ago, she and I met a 23-year-old young woman, and we all became very good friends. She said she lost her grandpa and I told her that I would love to have her as a granddaughter. She has two children and no husband, and the children call me grandpa. I now love her so much as a grandpa, and she always tells me how much she loves me. She felt so bad when my wife died, and now over the last year she has told me that, "You are so good to me, and with all you do for me, if there is anything you want and need from me, you can have it," meaning sex. Would it be wrong for us to have sex? It would please me so much, but I need your advice and opinion. -- Harry, 78
It feels wrong to me, Harry. Your young friend seems confused about how a person shows gratitude. If you slept together, it could spell the end of your friendship. She might be willing to do it once, and never again. She and her children all think of you as a grandpa-type person, and to turn that family feeling into sexuality is a little creepy. I can understand your desires, but she wouldn't be going along with them out of the right kind of feelings. If you do go ahead, you both need to be very clear about your expectations (no strings?), and I'd strongly urge you to keep the relationship away from the kids for now. And please, don't make babies.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.