She's No Swinger (But He Is)
All my husband wants me to do is be with other men. He says it turns him on. He would also like to swing with other couples. This is not me at all. He expects me to dress sexy to show off for others for his benefit. It turns me off, and I want out. What do I do? -- Mary, 55
You want out? Tell your swinging husband that his preferred type of intimate activity is a huge turn-off for you. And tell him that unless he's willing to give up the idea of admitting other people into your sex life, you're leaving. Then he can decide if being with you is more important to him than this particular activity. If you value one another, you should be able to find ways to avoid boredom that don't include sharing you with other men. You needn't put him down for his fantasies, but you have every right to refuse to go along with such desires in reality. After all, if only one of you is happy, that's not much of a relationship.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.