Husband Left But Keeps Calling
My husband abandoned me because I lost my job! He went and got an apartment with his 25-year-old daughter and her husband. Neither one of them are working, and my husband is over there taking care of both of them. I found out that he has a different woman coming over to their house every night. Yet he calls me five to ten times a day. I don't understand why he keeps calling. What should I do about this situation? -- Denise, 53
Men rarely leave their wives due to the woman's job loss, so I suspect that's not the real reason. Especially as he's over there taking care of his jobless daughter and her jobless husband. It just doesn't make sense. What does make a sad kind of sense is that he is enjoying playing around with a batch of new women, while he continues to call you constantly for a sort of continuity in his life. If you're willing to wait until he tires of his new bachelor-like lifestyle, hoping he'll return to you eventually, that's a gamble you have to consider carefully. But I wouldn't be there for his calls five to ten times a day. Do you still want to save the relationship? If so, insist he come back and see a counselor with you. Otherwise, stop answering the phone. Cold-turkey. He can't have it both ways.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.