Looking for Trouble
I am interested in a woman, but this is how her "looking for" ad would read: Married three times, leaves men totally used and emotionally broken, panders to men and old folks to survive. Loves bad boys with motorcycles, has problems with alcohol and pot, bounces from place to place. Never completed anything for a career, no retirement savings. Knows what AA, NA and ACOA are. Has other sex partners. Afraid of commitments. Very smart, but makes very stupid and dangerous choices.
What are my chances with her? -- Larry, 59
So tell me: why are you looking for trouble? Seriously, why would a man with such clear insight into a woman's character STILL want to pursue her? That's like asking me what your chances are of being run over by a train if you lie down quietly on the tracks. I guess you are one of those genuine masochists, or you're incredibly lonely and crave ANY attention at all, however abusive. Or she's got your hormones in a stir and you don't WANT to think straight. You do have at least one or two things in common, that you're both smart and you both make very stupid and dangerous choices. My advice: get up off the train tracks.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.