Wife's Hiding Something
My wife and I have been married for 15 years, during which she has been a devoted mother and wife. About 9 months ago she started Facebooking. She can be on for over 2 hours at a time. She takes the laptop in another room and when I come in she closes the page quickly. I have asked her about it and she dismisses it or gets mad like I am a stalker. I try to give her her space but it feels like for the first time in our marriage she is being secretive and dishonest. I don't want to act paranoid and push her away but I cannot seem to get a straight answer from her. What should I do? -- Randy, 36
Tell her frankly that you're worried about your relationship. Spending a couple of hours online, reaching out to old friends and doing other things, is pretty ordinary these days. But if you feel she's hiding something, she may very well be. She should be willing to share what she's doing, or explain why she'd rather not. We probably all know that impulse of wanting to darken the monitor rather than have someone see what we've been doing, even if what we're doing is legal, moral, and no big deal. But her behavior is concerning. If all the other areas of your life together are the same as before, fine. But if you have other clues of her declining interest in you, ask her again, nicely, to be honest about what's going on for her emotionally.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.