Young, In Love, and Far Away
I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now, and she is absolutely great. I love her to death and I pray all the time that she is the one. It is really strange for me to say that because I have never felt this way before. We began dating at the end of our college careers, but for the past few months our relationship has been long distance. First she was backpacking through Europe. I've been living with my parents looking for a job. Now she is back and living with her parents and is also looking for a job. When she left, we both realized how much we loved and missed each other. But now that she is back and we are both still apart and jobless, phone calls have been getting very tiresome. We have nothing new to talk about and can find ourselves getting frustrated with each other. I love this girl so much and don't want to give up on the relationship at all. What can I do to make this time apart and our relationship on the phone work? -- Bob, 23
You can't guarantee that you'll end up together with so many variables in play in both your lives. What if you finally get jobs in different cities? You could talk about the possibility of one of you getting a job and then marrying and then the other one limits his or her search for a job to that same city. Anyway, just because you're job-hunting doesn't mean you can't find things to talk about. Read the newspaper. Get involved in life rather than just sitting there waiting for the economy to get better. This is actually a good test of your relationship. If a little time apart ruins things, then you will have learned something valuable. I hope it works out for you both!
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.