Does "Engaged" Mean "Hands Off"?
A friend of mine recently met the man she felt was the one she was meant to marry. For a while it seemed the interest on his end might be headed in the same direction. Then she found out he was engaged. Should she tell him she is interested or keep silent and wish them both a happy life together? -- Gayle, 32
This friend of yours should really stop thinking in terms of some guy being the one she's "meant to marry." It doesn't work that way. Especially, as it turns out, when the guy is not telling the truth about his availability. I suggest running the other way. Over her shoulder she could wish him good luck and a happy life. But telling him she's "interested" and holding out hope that he'll dump his girlfriend is just asking for trouble.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
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