Reconnect with First True Love
I found my long-ago true love's address and, about three years ago, I wrote to him. He responded! We have been writing each other 10-page letters since then, at least 2-3 times a year. No phone calls or e-mails, but we've exchanged pictures, cards, etc. He never married and is now a handsome 60-year young man, and I have been divorced many years and am 56.
He is in New York and I am in Florida. I wrote him that I was coming north to see my family and wanted to grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect a letter back in which he said that was a great idea. He wanted to cook me dinner, get some wine and talk and laugh like we used to and for me to stay at his place since we have so much to talk about. I am absolutely ecstatic and we finally talked on the phone making the arrangements. We talked for over two hours and it was like we talked last week! I'm flying up in two weeks. I can't stop thinking about this upcoming visit and wanted to get your thoughts on this. -- Glenda, 56
My number one thought is that I really truly hope this works out well for you. My number two thought, as I'm cautious by nature, is that you keep your heart in check just a tiny bit, so you can give this old-new relationship a fair start. He wants you to stay at his place, which means there is probably going to be physical intimacy. I can tell you he's counting on that. I worry a tiny bit due to his never having married. Not to mention that you've been writing for three years and it was you who first suggested getting together. But it sounds promising and hopeful. Just don't assume he's ready to marry you. He may have in mind something much less committed. So have a great time and get to know each other, as he is now, not as he was in your memory.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.