My relationship has been over for five months, but he and I still talk as friends. I can't seem to get over him, but he acts like he's over me. His friends told me he's not. Should I try to get things started again or move on for real? -- Jennifer, 21
If your ex-boyfriend acts as though he is over you, then I wouldn't listen to his friends. Anyway, how could you get things started again? You're in touch with each other, so he knows how to find you. If he were the least bit interested in heating things up again, he would have done something about it. He's probably got his mind on finding someone new, or he likes his freedom, or both. You know how you can get in the habit of picking at a scab? That's what you're doing whenever you talk to him "as friends." It's too hard to be "just friends" with someone you like that much, so I say move on.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.