He Hangs Out With Singles
I have been going out with this guy for two and a half years. He's 30. Every weekend he goes out with his single friends to bars and clubs. He says this is the only time he has to hang out with his friends and have a good time and be a guy. We get into many fights as a result of this. He is a loyal person and I don't believe that he will cheat on me, but always going out without me seems strange. I'm not sure if it's healthy for the long term. What should I do? -- Samantha, 28
It seems strange to me, too, that your boyfriend only feels like a "guy" when he's clubbing with his single friends every weekend. I think you're right to wonder about how this might play out in the long term. You say he's loyal. How do you know? Most women are sure their lovers wouldn't cheat on them, even when it's actually happening. And most of those fellows aren't out drinking all the time. Face it: your man feels more at ease with his guy friends, drinking and fooling around, then he does with you. He's just not ready to settle down with a woman. Enough fights already. He's giving you a clear message that you don't mean all that much to him. You can't argue him into loving you more. You can't demand he stop hanging with his pals. Maybe it's time to move on.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.,
is a social psychologist and relationship expert. She is a bestselling and award-winning author whose latest book is "Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way." She has written for and been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, Family Circle, Women's Health & Fitness, YM, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, Child, and many others. She also consults and teaches writing online. Read her complete bio!
NOTE: The information contained herein is provided for information purposes, and not intended as a substitute for advice or treatment that may or should be prescribed by your physician or recommended by your therapist.