Blinded By The Likeness

I have found dating to be difficult and unrewarding for me lately. I am an "older woman" as some might call me. I'm forty-something and the mother of two who are now grown-ups themselves. I've been divorced for years and have dated some, but I just cannot seem to find Mr. Right. I've done the blind date thing, the friend-of-a-friend deal, and I've participated with various online dating services. However, nothing ever really panned out, that is until a chance encounter I had a few months ago. My son is a musician, and I went out alone one night to the club where his band was playing. Toward the end of the evening, a gentleman came up behind me and started to talk to me. Since the music was really loud, I couldn't hear who it was or what he was saying. I turned around and, to my extreme surprise, was facing a man who looked exactly, I mean EXACTLY, like rocker Jon Bon Jovi. When I was able to compose myself and stop drooling, we had a great conversation. We exchanged numbers, and we both expressed our desire to meet one another again. I was on cloud nine! Here, finally, was Mr. Right! He was my age, self-employed, had no kids, was never married, was a body builder, was Jon Bon Jovi's twin, was single, and was interested in ME! Woo-hoo! We went out a few times, and we even graduated to the point of sex. It was rather early in a relationship for me to have sex with him. However, one night after a movie I had driven us to, I was dropping him off at his place when he kissed me passionately in my car. As if from a scene in a movie, that kiss ignited a mutual passion I had never known before. Instead of leaving, I parked the car, and he literally carried me into his apartment. From there, it was nothing short of nirvana. He was THE best lover I ever had, and that was all the icing I needed on the cake to believe I had found my Mr. Right. Shoot, Mr. Perfect was more like it. So, for the next few weeks, I was walking on air and hoping against hope that this thing with my Bon Jovi look-alike would turn into something special. What was I thinking? I know better, or should have, anyway. We spoke often on the phone, and agreed to meet up the next time at the club where we originally met and where my son's band was playing again. Mr. Perfect and I sat together chatting with friends and enjoying the music. I became a bit disturbed, though, because my Bon Jovi friend would frequently get up, leave our table without explanation, and stay gone for seemingly long periods of time. He never offered an explanation such as, "I'm going to the men's room. I'll be right back," or, "I'm going to say hi to a buddy from work for a minute." He just would get up, leave, and eventually return. As it grew later in the evening, he did this one more time, except this time he returned with his drink in one hand and a pen in the other. He had not arrived at the club with any pen. So, I quickly understood that the guy had been out gathering telephone numbers of other women while he was supposed to be there with me! Suddenly, it mattered not who he looked like or how well he treated me in bed. Here was a playa to go lower than any other. My feelings that he was a loser were confirmed when I found out that one of the numbers he had tried to score was that of my son's fiancé! Certain that I had encountered the world's lowest bottom-feeder, I quietly slipped out of the club without saying a word. As if he had done nothing wrong, he sent me a text message on my phone the next day. He indicated that he wanted to get together with me again. I sent him a message back saying he might have better luck calling one of the phone numbers he had acquired the night before because *I* was no longer interested. Thankfully, I haven't heard from him since. Even though he was a total dawg, I blame my own self for being so naïve. If it/he seems too good to be true, it/he probably is. I'm old enough. I knew better. But, dammit, he looked exactly like Jon Bon Jovi!

— Abigail, 43

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