About 12 years ago, around the time my divorce was final, I had gone back to college and worked part time as a receptionist for a cellular phone company. The UPS guy used to flirt with me, and I decided to not be so shy and ask him if he would like to go out for a drink on New Year's Eve around 9:30 or 10pm. He agreed and told me to call him when I got home from work. When I called him, he said he would treat me to dinner if I would drive to his house, about a half an hour away. It didn't feel right to me, because it was our first date, and I said I think you need reservations on New Year's Eve. He said he knew the owner. So I got dressed up and went to his apartment. I felt very uneasy in his apartment. He started yelling about his ex-wife, and he said he never hit her. That made me nervous. Then, he was talking about how his own father, who was a physician, used to beat him and his six siblings and mother. I really, really wanted to go home, but didn't want to be rude or upset him more. We went to dinner and had to wait two hours for a table. He didn't know the owner. By the time we were seated, it was about 11:30 at night. Throughout dinner, he kept barking at me to eat, as he said I was too skinny. I wanted to go to the restroom and call a cab, but again I didn't want to be rude. On the way from the restaurant to his apartment, he started yelling about his knee surgery, and how "they" operated on him and that it still made him angry. He asked if I wanted to come up and watch the tape of his knee surgery. I declined, saying it was too late. I felt tremendous relief when I got to my car, so happy to be away from this nut. The next week he called and asked if I wanted to go out with him again. I declined. He couldn't have had a good time. I guess that some guys just want something in return for what they spend on you. I learned not to worry about being rude; feeling safe is more important, drive yourself on the first date and just meet for a drink.
— Marcy, 46