Loser and User

In 1994, I was living in California. I left the man I moved out there to be with (I am from the East Coast) and met a guy who I thought was the love of my life. Great sex, great sense of humor, I thought he had it all. Our romance started in early November. By March it sizzled. One of the things that made me feel really bad was once when we went out to dinner. We went to a place that specializes in crepes. When the bill came, he started to itemize it. He said that he had a $7 crepe and a glass of water and I had a $9 crepe and two glasses of wine. Now this is a fellow who I cooked for 4-6 times a week (I bought groceries) and baked cookies for (at least once a week - I bought ingredients) and we're having sex 3 times a day. And he wants me to pay my "fair share" for this dinner! I didn't give up on him then, but I should have. I was in a car accident in July - someone hit me and totaled my car. I was injured and decided to get out of California and go back home. My birthday is in August. You guessed it. Since he knew I was leaving and he, "Didn't want to be [my] boyfriend any longer," (but I guess the sex was good enough for him) he didn't bother to buy me a present. When I said, "Fine, just take me out to dinner," he complained on the way that, "Now I feel I HAVE to take you out to dinner." I knew then that I should have broken up with him the previous January when he complained that I was, "Tired all the time," even though he knew I had contracted pneumonia. What a loser and a user. I can't imagine what I ever saw in him. I guess I was afraid of being alone after leaving my ex and he said all the right things to get in my pants.

— Jill, 38

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