Tipping Asses

While I was twenty-seven and living in Texas, I dated a thirty-five-year-old co-worker for a few months. As part of our work we both travel quite often. My brother and his roommate who live in Florida planned on taking a trip and staying with me. My boyfriend and I arrived home on the very day that my brother arrived. My brother picked me up at one airport, and then we rushed to a second one to greet my boyfriend and proceed to dinner. We went to a well-known restaurant in the area. My boyfriend was teasing me and telling my brother and his friend that he couldn't come near me for days after I ate garlic because my breath would reek. I was embarrassed and everybody laughed, telling the waiter to make sure there was no garlic in my food. As we were leaving the restaurant there was a donkey that was housed in a pen out in front, part of the nostalgia of the restaurant. As we waited our turn for the valet, we stood at the donkey's pen. The donkey was standing right in front of me and was staring straight at me but his eyes were droopy and he was swaying a little. So, trying to be funny, I said to the donkey, "Hey, what's wrong with you? It's not like I had garlic or anything." No sooner did the words come out of my mouth when the donkey literally tipped over on his side and hit the ground so hard a cloud of dust covered us. We were laughing so hard, the valet ran over and started yelling, "What did you do to my donkey?!" The donkey had actually fallen asleep standing up and tipped over, but it was at the exact moment that I made the comment. They still tease me about it!

— Doreen, 28

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