The Memory That Remains

A year ago, I met this guy who made my heart melt. I had a boyfriend at the time, but I could not get this guy out of my head. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days later in hopes of establishing a relationship with the guy I had met. We were great for the longest time until I received a call from a girl who claimed to be his girlfriend. In her voicemail, she told me how in love she was with him and how she and I didn't deserve a guy like that. I started crying, although I'm not sure why. I don't like holding feelings in, so I confronted him about it. He denied it all and claimed it was some jealous girl who was trying to ruin what we had. I didn't believe him, but I dropped it. We stopped talking after that. I hadn't talked to him in months until he called me one day and asked me if I wanted to see him. I went to see him that night, and all the feelings returned. I could feel the chemistry between us, and every time he held me, I felt a sort of comfort. We dated for a while before we had sex. I was a virgin, and I lost it to him. We were together for a month before he ended things abruptly. He blamed it on a car accident he had early in our relationship which he said "opened his eyes". What was happening didn't hit me until he said, "Don't be like that. I still want to be friends with you." I had never felt so horrible in my life. I couldn't believe that I had given my virginity to someone like that. I couldn't believe how naïve I had been. Looking back on the situation, I should have known this would happen. I'm nineteen years old, and I lost my virginity a couple of months ago to a guy who didn't care about me and who treated me like a piece of ass instead of treating me how I deserve to be treated. I have never regretted anything more in my life. I cannot believe that this is the one memory that will remain with me forever. I wish now that I would have listened to my mind instead of my heart. Don't make the same mistake I did. Everyone says that it's best to learn from your own mistakes, but I wish I would have listened to my best friend when she told me to think carefully about what I was planning to do. I could have saved myself from a lot of pain.

— Carrie, 19

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