Some Solid Dating Tips

Think first! The dating disasters on this site range from funny, to tragic, to preventable. Here are some thoughts on those preventable ones for the people who don't seem to know how to find their way out of repeating the situations again and again. Number one; when there are secrets, there is dishonesty. Unexplained absences and phone calls mean he's married or involved, ladies. Number two; sudden changes in his behavior from loving to suddenly cool or even cruel means he doesn't want you. Period. It doesn't mean you're inadequate. It means that what he's looking for is different than what you have to offer. Number three; when you start thinking he would change if only he knew how much you cared for him, you're deceiving yourself. Think about it. If someone you didn't like pursued you, you'd find a way to avoid it because they're not what you're looking for. Well, if you're not what he's looking for, move on. Someone wants what you have to offer, and they'll slip past your nose while you're pining away for Mr. Wrong. Number four; grown men who live with their parents or frequently borrow money are not good prospects. You may feel needed and appreciated by them, but will you still feel that way in a few years? More likely, you'll wind up feeling used and feel like you're a mother rather than a lover. Number five; don't let one person ruin your whole perception of dating/relationships/love. That's silly. Sometimes when you buy a bunch of grapes, you find a sour one or two, and sometimes there are mostly bad ones in that bunch. But if you go get yourself another bunch of grapes, you'll find some sweet, juicy treats. If you know what you're looking for and expect to find it, you will, eventually. (It took me until I was twenty-nine, and I explored a LOT!) Number six; TREAT YOURSELF WELL AND THE MEN WILL, TOO. Actions speak louder than words. If you don't value yourself, your guy is going to pick up on it. But if you are the most special person you know, he'll pick up on that, too. Enjoy the feast of human nature that is available to you. Bon appetit!

— Alyssa, 30

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