Slow Mover

I was in college and I wanted to take this girl out. It was our first date. Well, being broke as most college students are; we decided to go for a drive and get to know each other. We drove for about 4 hours just talking. Then I noticed that we are being followed by the police. His lights came on and I got pulled over. He came up to the window and asked for my license and insurance because I had been going too SLOW! I had neither but I knew my license number. I gave that to him and he asked me by date of birth. I said, "five-eighty one." He asked three more times and I said the same thing. Then he asked me if I had been drinking because I never said the day, just the year and month three times. I said no, because we hadn't been. So, he said, "if I give you a breathalyzer, you'll blow triple zeros?" I said yes, so he went back to his car. When he came back, he informed me that I had two warrants out for my arrest. One for a noise violation from a party my roommates and I had in my college town and one for some unpaid parking tickets from a year prior. He returned to his car, came back, and told me that if I wanted, I could proceed two more miles and be in one of the counties where I have a warrant. He could call an officer to come arrest me or I could drive the speed limit and enjoy the rest of our date. I chose the latter!

— Joe, 23

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