Double Dribble

When I was in high school, I was going out with a girl named Anna. One night we decided to go out for a romantic candlelit dinner at a local French seafood restaurant. We got there on time and started looking at the menu. All right so far, but then I told the waiter that I would like the lobster in clam salad followed by a "paginon de la chocolat bruta." Anna just started drooling. It was disgusting. She started saying, "I luuuv a maaaan who likes chocolate and lobsterrrrrr." I thought it was a joke at first, so I laughed and told her to stop. Instead, she seemed to get kind of drowsy while continuing to repeat the line. Soon she had covered her entire menu in drool. Then the manager came up to me and told me to get that girl out of the restaurant because she was covering the floor with her drool, which could pose a hazard to others! I quietly told her that we had to leave, but then she got up and started dancing on the table, shouting, "I love you, Hank Joseph!" I walked across the restaurant, hiding from her, and then she shouted out, "Where you goin', Hank? Don't you remember that it's April First?" The whole restaurant cracked up, and I decided then to join them. I am now 26 and I have long since broken up with Anna, but I'll never forget that night!

— Gregg, 26

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