Wouldn't it be great if you could prevent your husband from ever cheating on you? You might be able to do just that if you know the signs most men give before they stray--that is, clues that he's still thinking about having an affair but hasn't actually done it yet.
Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, author of "The Truth About Cheating," estimates that one in 2.7 men will cheat and most of their wives will never know it.
What are the signs he's thinking about cheating? The same signs that he is actually cheating are also the clues he's about to cheat, according to Neuman. Pay close attention to these signals:
- He spends more time away from the house.
- You have less sex.
- He avoids contact.
- He does not answer his cell phone.
- He criticizes you more.
Why do men cheat? Neuman says that 92 percent of men insist it isn't primarily about sex. "The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated," he told Oprah Winfrey on the "Oprah" show. "A lack of thoughtful gestures. Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."The long to-do list of daily life often makes it easy to forget to do the little things a couple once did for one another. But when the wife forgets, the other woman remembers. She makes him feel appreciated and admired. "Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else. They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued," Neuman told Oprah.
Neuman's advice to wives: Capitalize on men's competitive mentality to win. Make your husband feel he is a winner and that he's winning with you. Praise him. Tell him you appreciate him. "We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we're wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing," he told Oprah. "And the more we give it, the more we get it in return."
Interesting facts about a cheating man:
- 88 percent of the men Neuman surveyed said the other woman was no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives.
- Only 7 percent of men who cheat confessed on their own to their wives without being asked about it first.
- Even when confronted with evidence, 55 percent of cheating men still did not tell their wives or they lied about it.
The No. 1 complaint married men have about their home sex lives? "Believe it or not, the majority say it's frequency of sex," Neuman told Oprah. "Women's magazines make women believe that they have to have a Ph.D. in prostitution education or else the husband's going to cheat. It's just a matter of frequency." Neuman says sex for men is an emotional act. When a woman initiates sex, it has the same emotional impact for him that she feels when he sends her flowers or does the dishes.
--From the Editors at Netscape
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