Call it the new face of infidelity. It turns out we can cheat without having sex. While emotional cheating doesn't involve any physical contact, it does involve secrecy and deception, which equals betrayal, according to O magazine. What's worse, people who are involved in emotional affairs are often in denial, trying to convince themselves that nothing has to change.

"That's where they're wrong," writes Gail Saltz in O magazine. "If you think about it, it's the breach of trust, more than the sex, that's the most painful aspect of an affair and, I can tell you from my work as a psychiatrist, the most difficult to recover from."

While most married people don't go looking for a secret lover, many are ripe for an affair of the heart. It satisfies a lot--attention, excitement and a way to fill the emptiness. It's an emotional high made all the easier with the convenience of e-mail, instant messaging and cell phones.

To be sure, men and women can have healthy "just friends" relationships, but how can you tell if it's just that and nothing more? Here is a quick little test: If the relationship and its goings-on are out in the open and not clandestine, you're "just friends." If not, you are an emotional cheater. It's the instant you keep any part of it a secret from your spouse that it turns into something more than "just friends." And there are more clues, too. Do you want to look your best when you know you'll be together? Do you confide in each other, including your marital dissatisfactions, more than you do your spouse?

What can you do to make sure you don't have an emotional affair? Pose direct questions to your spouse. Answer those questions honestly when they are asked of you. Those who can't express their feelings, thoughts and dreams clearly are at the greatest risk of betrayal.

If you are involved in an emotional affair, do the following:

• Take responsibility for the affair, just as if you had a sexual liaison.
  
• End it. If it happened in the office, then all future communication with the person must be only professional.
  
• To prevent an encore, try to figure out why you got involved in this in the first place.
  
• Rebuild trust with your spouse. This takes time, openness and accountability.