Why She'll Dump You

So, your girl just told you she thinks you're "better off as friends." Riiiight. Want the real reason you're toast? Read on.

You Strayed

Obviously, your cheatin' heart is grounds for her telling you to get lost. But don't think she needs to catch you in bed with some floozy before she'll call it quits. For many women, kissing or chronic flirting are reason enough to hand you your walking papers.

You're a Die-Hard Bachelor

According to a Men's Health and Glamour magazine Web poll, over 60 percent of women said a man's husband- or father-potential was "extremely important." Another 33 percent say it's "somewhat important." That doesn't mean she's assessing your bank statements or sperm count; she's just looking for evidence that you can communicate, show affection and be trustworthy. If she doesn't find it, she's moving on.

You're Not in It for the Long Haul

Women quickly figure out if you have long-term potential. She's wary of the classic Mr. Wrong - the otherwise-perfect guy whose motto is "I'm just not ready to have a serious relationship right now." Within four to six months - when the sex starts cooling and the novelty is wearing off - you'd better let her know you're attached ... or you won't be for long.

You're Too Needy

Are you the guy whose friends tell girls how great you are and that you just need someone to "take a chance" on you? She may have fallen for your sweet, romantic, do-anything-for-her attitude, until she heard that little warning bell that you would really do anything - like kill, maim or steal - for her. Creepy. If you just want someone - anyone! - to spend time with, she'd rather it not be her.

You Changed ... or Your Relationship Did

You got meaner. Or messier. Or suddenly decided that getting your lazy butt off the couch long enough to grab another beer from the fridge was suitable exercise for the day. While it's good to feel comfortable in your relationship, it doesn't give you permission to let yourself go. Unless you want to let her go.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • You remind me of a doorknob on a freezing day. If I put my tongue on you, it's not coming off.
  • Would you like to play a game of hide the penis?
  • I will gladly marry you next Tuesday if we can have the honeymoon tonight.
  • Smile, darling. It looks good on you.
  • Know what's wrong with you? Not a damn thing.