4 Signs that You Have a Fall-Back Girl
When a relationship breaks up or fades away, do you have a woman waiting in the wings to comfort you? Do you go out for drinks together? Does she listen supportively and put her arm around you? Do you hug?
There's no question--she's your fall-back girl. But the question is, why?
Chances are she's a woman you dated in the past. She's one that got away...almost. You both know you're not right for each other for some reason, but you can't stay away.
Although it's comforting to know someone's there for you when you need her, there are inherent hazards in keeping that fall-back position. See if you recognize any of these danger signs.
Fall-Back Fallout #1
When you retreat into the arms of your fall-back friend, you find the talk turns to female flaws and fantasies. Does she point out what was wrong with your most-recent sweetheart? Does she gush over what you have to offer? Does she point out how she's different from your ex and how similar your interests are with hers?
Fall-Back Fallout #2
When you move to the fall-back position and you're hanging out with your tried and true bosomed buddy, does your female friend wear casual clothes or look like she's ready for a date? Does she ask you to bring her a beer or wait on you hand and foot? If she's trying too hard, she's pushing to be more than friends.
Fall-Back Fallout #3
When you start up your next relationship, do you let your fall-back friend fade away? Is it too uncomfortable to ask her to join you and your new sweetheart with a group of friends? Would that be awkward? If so, then there's more than platonic fun involved in playtime with your pal.
Fall-Back Fallout #4
You agree that you're good friends, but the sexual chemistry between you two is obvious at times. Occasionally, you don't just fall back on her for emotional comfort, you to fall into bed for some sexual healing as well. Beware! If she's allowing this to happen, she wants more. She wants to be your fall-all-over girl, not just your fall-back position.
You and your fall-back girl have been through a lot together, or you wouldn't find her so comforting. But don't fool yourself. The lack of pressure you feel when you retreat into her arms is a facade. She's subtly trying to win you over full time, and that expectation is working against your other relationships.
Admit it, in the back of your mind, is she always hovering as a safe zone? When you start up with a new sweetie, are you thinking about whom you'll turn to if it doesn't work out this time?
A fall-back position like this one can weaken your romantic stance. Keeping one foot in each zone is not good for either relationship. You need to decide which direction you want to go, and then make your play by going for it all.
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