Pwned! 5 Girl Games She'll Always Win

Just as you've suspected, guys - she's playing you. Not only is she capable of the mind games you imagined - toying you, testing you, and trying your patience - she's better at them than you are!

Your every move is under intense scrutiny in her search for the hidden meaning of your actions. Will you win these games, or will she?

Girl Game #1: The Baiting Game

The classic example is "Does this make me look fat?", but this game can also be disguised as "Is she prettier than I am?" or "Am I the best you've ever had?". She wants your reassurance (you knew that, right?)...but she frames the question until it's impossible for you to answer it in a way that will satisfy her. Our advice? Somewhere in your answer you'd better use the phrase "sexiest woman alive."

Girl Game #2: The "We Need to Talk" Test

It's no coincidence that she springs those four little words on you in the most inconvenient time - during the final play of the big game, right before sex, or whenever else you're otherwise distracted. The topic of the conversation isn't part of the quiz - it's whether or not you show her she's a priority. Meaning you'd better put down the remote and listen up.

Girl Game #3: Sex As a Bargaining Tool

Your suspicions are correct: she does use sex as a weapon. She withholds it when she's mad, gives it when she's trying to placate you, and promises it in return for other goods and services. Roll with it - hey, taking out the trash isn't so bad if you know you're going to get lucky - but don't let her always use this arrangement. You shouldn't have to pay dues to get her desire.

Girl Game #4: The Cold Shoulder

Uh-oh, she's mad and you're getting the silent treatment and don't know why (again!). Don't bother asking what you did wrong - the fact that you don't know is just going to earn you more punishment. Try to figure it out while she cools off, and then work together to resolve it.

Girl Game #5: Other Jezebel Mind Tricks

She's got a whole arsenal of mind games she can play with you, including reverse psychology (when she says the opposite of what she wants in order to get you to do exactly what she wants to do) and those times when she seems to expect you to be able to read her mind. Pay close attention to her actions -- even if she says she's happy to wash those dishes herself, she expects you to help if you hear her banging the pots and pans - and, if all else fails, just ask her what you can do to make her happy.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • You know, I'm only using pimping as a stepping stone to my rap career.
  • You're so sweet, you give me a toothache.
  • My shoes are having a party later. Why don't your pants come on down?
  • You never got a second chance to make a first impression.
  • Do you want an Australian kiss? It's just like a French kiss, but it's down under!