Her Secret Bedroom Fears

In the early days of a relationship, that coyly confident woman you're seeing is secretly obsessing about every itty-bitty ridiculous detail of your time together. And nothing gets her more anxious than when you start getting naked.

But if you understand her fears and help allay them to make her feel confident, she'll make you feel... well, you'll see.

Hang-Up #1: She's Fat.

Even the skinny and rational gals still count the occasional calorie, bemoan the effects of a binge on Kentucky-fried goodness and spend a few extra minutes critiquing the view in the mirror. No matter what your girl looks like, your job is to shore up her self-esteem. Tell her you love her body - emphatically, sincerely, constantly. Especially when she's naked.

Hang-Up #2: She's Lousy in Bed.

Our oversexed culture makes her feel like you'll leave her if she isn't a porn-quality love machine. It's especially traumatizing during your first few forays into fornicating together if she can't be sure if what's she's doing is doing it for you. So, be free with your feedback. She needs the reassurance - or redirection.

Hang-Up #3: You Don't Like Heading South.

Look, there are a lot of things going on down there from week to week. Thanks to the hormone rollercoaster she's on, she knows that some days her southern region is more - or less - appealing than others. And that makes her worry about whether you love lavishing your attention there or secretly loathe it. If it's the former - and she hopes it is - show her you're into it with both words (or, more likely, moans) and actions.

Hang-Up #4: You Think About Your Ex.

She knows you still think about her. (She still thinks about her ex on occasion, after all... who doesn't?) And even though she knows that it sooooo isn't a big deal, it still makes her a little jealous. You can be sure that if she knows anything about your ex - even just enough to Google her - she's tried desperately to find a picture, see her in person or get a third-party confirmation that your former flame doesn't compare to her. It's crazy, and she knows it, but you cannot avoid this. You can, however, minimize the trauma. Don't talk up your ex around your current girl. Don't mention that you still get together to catch up over coffee. But don't make the mistake of bad-mouthing her either (you just look like you're still hung up on her). The key is to seem totally indifferent.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • You give me a reason to wake up every day.
  • Would you like to play a game of hide the penis?
  • I've been here for almost an hour. Are you going to buy me a drink or what?
  • I lost my virginity--can I have yours?
  • You never got a second chance to make a first impression.