Who's in the Driver's Seat?
Are you the driver or the passenger in your relationship? Most of us hope we get to do a little of both. Pay attention, and you can learn to recognize when to step back and when to step up.
If you want to have a balance of power in your relationship, then you'll want to start things off with that in mind. Plan an activity - maybe a sporting event or a concert - and invite her to go. But don't get the tickets until she says "yes." Initiative is good; assumption is bad.
When you're planning dinner out, give her some restaurant or cuisine options and ask her opinion. Don't let her off the hook if she says, "you choose." The idea is for her to make some decisions too. You don't want to be pigeonholed as "the decider" in the relationship. Even if you like having things your way, ease up a bit. If you get a taste for her likes and dislikes, you'll be better able to tell if you're really compatible.
Making all the decisions in a relationship can get tiring. So don't shut her down by declining every suggestion. If you want to encourage a partnership, then be willing to try her favorite sport, taste new foods and see some new sites. In the bedroom too, give and take is important. Show her some of your favorite moves and let her show you what revs her up.
Just as being a considerate driver will make your trip go more smoothly, being a considerate partner will help your sweetheart avoid getting bent out of shape. Recognize that "my way or the highway" isn't going to work for a long-term relationship. Pay attention to her body language and read between the lines of what she says to flesh out her true feelings.
When your opinions differ, try to appreciate her fresh approach. If you were totally happy being alone with your quirky way of doing things, you wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. You can bet that if you allow her to take the wheel once in a while, you'll find mutually beneficial ways to enjoy the ride together.
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