Pickup Lines:
How to Make Them Work for You

Here's the problem with pickup lines: They smack of insincerity. When you ask a woman if she's out of breath and then inform her that she should be because she's been racing through your mind all night, you may as well be saying, "Listen, the truth is that I'm horny but lazy, so how about we go back to my place?"

Women distrust men who use pickup lines for the same reason everyone distrusts car mechanics: They're usually just out to screw you. If you're going to use a pickup line on a woman, it's important - no, it's essential - to keep this little fact in mind.

That said, pickup lines can be a fun way to meet women, that is, if you go into it assuming that no self-respecting woman in her right mind will ever fall for them. The trick is to make it clear that you know that she knows that the whole thing is hopeless, that you're smarter than a pickup line and that you know she is too. Let's say you're at a bar and a great-looking girl walks in. You notice her immediately and if you don't walk over fast someone else will. Instead of approaching her and saying something like, "Your father must be a thief. He must have stolen the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes," say something ridiculous like, "Excuse me but I have to ask your opinion about something. I was just at the bar trying to order a drink for you and the bartender had the nerve to tell me that my father must be a thief, that he must have stolen the stars out of the sky and put them in my eyes. I can't believe people fall for that stuff. What kind of guy does he think I am? I mean, would you ever think of using such a cheap line on someone? I certainly wouldn't."

If she has any sense of humor, your little joke will at least get her attention. And assuming her burly boyfriend hasn't already bought her a drink, she'll have no choice but to, at least, consider having one with you. The point is this: Have fun with pickup lines, and make fun of pickup lines as you're using them. You'll seem more sincere. And sincerity, my boy, is what every woman is after.

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • I would rob a bank just to have lunch with you.
  • Are you Jamaican? 'Cause ja makin' me crazy.
  • I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  • Hi, my name is Tommy, and I want you to be my baby's mommy.