Opportunity Knocks: Should You Snoop?

Your sweetheart has already left for work, and you're getting ready at her place. You drop your cell phone and while searching for it under the bed, you find a book - not just any book, her journal! What do you do? Leave it without touching it, right? Or...take just a little peek so you know what makes your sweetie tick?

Take the Trust Test
If you care about her and want her to continue to care about you, don't do it. Don't snoop into her journal or her bedroom drawers or her purse. If she catches you, she'll never feel that she can trust you completely again. If she doesn't, the best case is that you'll know things you're not supposed to know about her. Worse, you might find out that there's a guy she has a huge crush on. Or that she's getting fed up with your self-centered ways. How will you resist telling her what you know? She should be allowed her private dreaming or venting away from your prying eyes. If she doesn't feel she has her private space, it could hurt your relationship a lot more than her random daydreams and irritations.

Keep Your Eyes Open
However, if you're getting that nagging feeling that she's hiding something, maybe you should keep your eyes open. Does she shut down computer windows when you walk in? Is she extra careful to keep her cell phone out of your hands and away from your eyes? Does she have new flirty Facebook guy friends? Does she change the subject when you ask where she was last night? If your doubts are building, you might want to surprise her with some unexpected visits. If you really care about her, initiate a conversation about how your relationship's going. Make sure you tell her what you love about her, and be specific. She wants to be appreciated for her own unique qualities.

Snoop Away
Or, if you've had reason to think that your sweetie might be sweet on someone else, then you might want to check it out. If she gets phone calls and walks to the other room and closes the door... If she's been buying new lingerie and not wearing it with you... If she hardly ever answers the nookie call... you might want to do some detective work. Phone texts and e-mail will give you the real picture of how she acts when you're not around. If there's a new guy at work she talks about, show up at the office for a surprise lunch date and find a way to meet him. You'll get clues by her reaction, his reaction, and their coworkers' faces. If you feel strongly that something's going on, you might want to peek into her purse when she's in the shower. If you find a condom, she's got something to hide and you've got something to learn. Talk to her.

Face it - if you don't feel you can trust your sweetheart, then something's going sour, whether she's cheating or not. Work on your relationship, cultivating the positive feelings you've had for each other. Open up the lines of communication by telling her you feel a distance between you, and let her express what's happening on her end. If you can't do that, then unfortunately the relationship is probably doomed anyway.

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