What Women Want: How to Be the Mind Reader She Expects You to Be

Okay, now before you get too excited, please keep in mind that it would require making monumental generalizations to assume what every woman in the universe wants. And we just can't do that. But what we can do is give you some helpful advice on what she really wants from you (usually).

Read on for the cosmic secrets.

What She Wants...When She's Talking to You

From the classic "What are you thinking?" to the dangerous "Is she prettier than I am?" queries, it feels like she's always testing you with trick questions to determine if you're really soul mates. She is! You might as well just accept it! If she's fishing for compliments, why not just give them to her? Isn't it easier than having her mad at you and not saying why?

What She Wants...on Your First Date

If you asked her out, she expects you to pick her up and have a place to go. Not show up with a shrug and say, "So what are we doing?" She'd prefer it if you showed a little more originality than a typical dinner and a movie and picked an activity with little pressure but plenty of opportunities to get to know each other better. Once there, she wants you to at least pretend you're listening. So, nod your head and smile a lot (no staring vacantly into space) and don't yammer on the entire night with the full details of your family history or resume. Ask questions, answer hers and keep up a good balance of chatting.

What She Wants...When You're Kissing Her

While to you making out may just be another landmark on the way to getting it on, consider that many a lady has been charmed into coitus by a guy she might not have been all that into, but who was a helluva good kisser. The first rule to getting her into bed with your kisses? Stop thinking about sex. As soon as we get really caught up in your kissing, there's a hand sneaking up our shirt. You've clicked on the cruise control and steered the smooching to the final destination - sex. Instead of making your make-out session so goal-oriented, can't we just enjoy it for the fun it is? It's not like we won't have sex with you later anyway.

What She Wants...in Bed

Pay attention to the quivers, sighs and moans that will show you what's working and what's not. All those delicious moans and groans mean something. Usually something along the lines of "Ooh, yes, that" or "Oh, ouch, stop!" Notice the little details - like a backside that rises to meet your caress or a breast that shudders at the touch of your hand. And, remember, if your partner is tickling you in a particularly pleasing way, she's not just being nice; she wants you to tickle her that same way. So if you notice your lover worshipping a particular part of your body, you might want to gauge her reaction when you reciprocate. And don't be surprised when your actions are met with great enthusiasm.

What She Wants...After Sex

Yes, it's true. She wants to cuddle. It could be a female chromosome thing or maybe all those lovey-dovey affection hormones raging. Plus she's probably feeling a little vulnerable after letting go so wantonly. Invest in a little spooning time and watch your stock as her best lover soar. Don't freak out if she wants to chat. Before you think this is a little too touchy-feely for your macho image, stop thinking that she really wants a serious "where is this relationship going" discussion. Consider it more of a post-game recap. Surely your ego is up to talking about how fabulous you made her feel, right?

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Try These Pickup Lines

  • I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  • Hi, my name is Tommy, and I want you to be my baby's mommy.
  • I hate to see you leave, but from here it's great to watch you go.
  • If you put 11 roses in your arms and looked in the mirror, you would see the twelve most beautiful things in the world.
  • You're so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.