Geriatric Beat

We all have our own little fetishes and turn-ons. So, don't judge me! It all really started when I was around twelve or thirteen. I'd be watching "The Golden Girls", and I'd receive a phenomenal erection. I never really thought anything about it. Well, in my hometown, there was a convalescent center (nursing home). I used to find myself masturbating outside the windows of some of its residents. This was only strike two, though. I mean, I was merely a young virgin trying to get off. Well, my first real girlfriend invites me to her place to watch some television. I get there, and before she comes out of her room, I notice her grandmother on the couch watching television. Immediately, I see this as an opportunity. I'm going to stop here, but long story short, my now ex-girlfriend thinks I'm a complete pervert. On the plus side, her grandmother and I have decided to go steady.

— Stanley, 19