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No. 1 Reason Couples Fight Over Money

Are you materialistic? If so, your marriage may be doomed.

In the first-ever study to examine the impact of materialism on marital satisfaction, researchers from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah found that highly materialistic spouses are about 40 percent more likely than non-materialistic spouses to experience high levels of financial problems.

And it doesn't matter how much or how little you make. The impact of materialism holds true across all income levels.

While high debt is often blamed for conflict within marriages and even divorce, study leaders Jason Carroll and Luke Dean contend that financial ups and downs have as much to do with a couple's expectations as their paychecks and credit card bills. "For years there has been an emphasis on learning proper saving and budgeting techniques to avoid marital conflict over financial issues," Carroll said. "But our study found that financial problems have as much to do with how we think about money as they do with how we spend money."

That is, materialism has an indirect effect on overall marital satisfaction by increasing the frequency of financial problems. "For a highly materialistic spouse or couple, it takes less financial disturbance to trigger a financial problem," Carroll explained. "Some would say, 'I'm not living a good life and I don't have a good marriage if we can't afford to go on that vacation or purchase designer décor for our home,' where a less materialistic spouse would not view these limitations as a major issue."

In this study of 600 married couples, Carroll and Dean found that materialism among one or both spouses was more predictive of the extent of a couple's financial problems than the amount of their income. In addition, the greater the financial problems, the lower the marital satisfaction.

How can you solve money problems in marriage?

1. Separate needs from wants.
It is often said, "Yesterday's luxuries have become today's necessities." In today's consumer culture, it is important for couples to carefully distinguish between their "needs" and their "wants" when it comes to family spending.

2. Check financial benchmarks.
Many people do not think their financial expectations are too high because they compare their spending habits to others who have more. Couples who do this frequently develop a sense of entitlement and resentment, while couples who see their situation through the eye of those who have less are more likely to foster a sense of gratitude in their lives.

3. Focus on the simple.
The saying goes, "The most important things in life are not things." While easy to say, this phrase is much harder to live. Financial strain in marriage, brought on by high materialistic expectations, often causes couples to not fully appreciate the simple aspects of their relationship that money cannot buy.

4. Lower expectations.
Financial problems in marriage are as much about expectations as they are about behaviors. Lowering financial expectations can benefit marriages in two ways. First, spouses will be more willing to avoid making purchases that create debt and stress in their relationship and, second, spouses will be more inclined to interpret their current situation with more gratitude and optimism.

The study findings were published in the Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal.

--From the Editors at Netscape

 
 
 
 
  
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